of everything I know is right
faced with the words I said
I cannot deny them
I tossed them out my mouth like watermelon seeds
Horrid coments said ? Why?
Does it matter?
HE REPEATS EVERY WORD I SAID AND I FEEL THE BURN
I feel the heat of his hurt
innocent big eyes smiling face...
DID I take that away from him?
He defends my blasting heartache
with the words I spoke first
I drew first blood....
and I gave him no chance
HOW could I say I care when I said
such horrid things?
Why? Did I say them?
Going so far back ?
Alone in my car his words echo
You told me you could not dress me in a suit and take me any where...
I DID say that ...
I remember the day I did
So sure I was always the harmed
but he gently tells me every thing
at first he screamed it at me
now he just reminds me
he carries that ...
ALL I said ..to tear away his self esteem..
I remember him ....
I did that
I said all those things...
one day I told him to " just kill himself"
I tossed that treasure out like a paper napkin
I didn't mean it ....yet he ate it ....
I sat in my car, thinking of the early times
and how I said SO many bad things
Because I am the werewolf
and he knows this..
I put my hands on my steering wheel
in shame as I know if my my family were alive
they would say " that's enough Bonnie girl"
I hurt the biggest nicest guy..
with the biggest eyes
and funny sense of funny...
as he repeats all my words
I am reminded ...
we are both on some level wrong
but I drew first blood
on someone who
beleived in me
I should have said:
all the kind things people say ,,
and it's no one's fault but mine
I do pray to the Lord to forgive my words
and deeds of a shameful woman confused
and afraid to feel the first feeling
she had ever known.
all that first goodness...
every Irish day...
The sting of all the words I have forgotten
yet he hung on to and believed?
How can I say ....
I never meant a word of it
that all I wanted I saw in his eyes?
and when I was drowning ?
I had to drown
die so I could be reborn
I forgot my sins
of course don't we all
But when he repeats them?
it kills a part of me to know
I hurt the very person
that was everything to me
He says, " you keep everyone at arm's length away "
it's all I know
I never gave him a chance to show me
I am shamed by all that I did say
I remember each word
he is not wrong...
the biggest generous man
with the best eyes in LA
Good he tells me
all I did
as I truly had forgotten
so sure I was always right
" you told me you could not take me dressed up in a suit anyplace"
I held on to the steering wheel of my new car
and felt the impact of true words sink in
I did say that...
I made a good man