Telephone call from the laboratory in regard to my patient in 110
"Are you the nurse assigned to room 110"
I nod my head with my answer "yes"
"Well she is positive Covid-19, can I have your initials ?'
I pull the face shield away, rubbing my eyes,
Placing the required calls,
I stand up holding back tears I
replace the plastic shield meant to protect me,
but then why does my soul spirit feel ripped apart?
I knock on the to request entry,
and begin to inform my patient she
tested positive for Covid 19, the virus no one
the very one that killed one of my good friends
a nurse who only meant to help others.
On my break, I pull off all the gear
seems like I drop a ton,
I sip my tea
I put my head down and remember
when I thought this was
a town full of
little girl dreams
I can't tell anyone just afraid I can be
save that for another day.
Can you take a check ? I want my little kid dreams back, please :
I do not think of time as
rather a pause while
I wait my turn to get
I stay away from everyone I love
because I know
at times easy
because my son won't talk to me
I loved another man
not his dad,
I think or try to
understand, and my love for him
places a large forgiveness net .
Will I live through this pandemic ?
Love is not as easy as ice cream
I let melt into my mouth
We do it for the glamour
I look around at my fellow
nurses who also are beaten down
our faces marked by the masks we wear
for hours a day,
not glamours, not Hollywood beautiful.
I feel alone.
Everyone wants a piece of Covid-19 media shine to help their Hollywood careers:
Then just how?
I might not be here
I accept that
but I won't drag others
down with me,
I am the best of
warriors swimming before
I drown, so just
I stay away
because I love each and
everyone of you
I don't do favorites .