Then there was one ...
Story Time :
I climbed up holding a huge story book for Grand Mary to read, I had just returned from Foster Care and would not speak, nor let anyone sit too close. My mother cried to Grand Mary, " I can't get through to her she won't let me touch her, nor does she speak" so Grand Mary came one fall day with the wind behind her skirts, " tell me where the Bonnie girl is", my mother pointed up to the big tree. I had climbed to the highest branches one day looking for Jesus as I was home but felt displaced, as the cold Michigan wind would nearly pull me from the branches I held tight like a good pirate. I would rest my head against the strong tree thinking the spirits of the trees would hold me strong, I pretended I was a pirate out to sea, not just any pirate I was the Captain full of Scot bossiness, and hours would slip by like the enjoyment at a Disney theme park.
A child's fear and bravery:
School for me was a daily battle as I was made fun of because my clothes were old worn, and I did not speak to anyone, I remembered the cookies in the church where I would go after school while living in Foster Care. The heart of a child hardened is not easily sorted. I held my words in as it was the only thing I could control and deny them that sought to find the best of me and tear to shreds. I would fight them but never speak a true chosen word to them.
Pack a bag :
Grand Mary stood under the great tree, " Bonnie girl come on down from the frightful height I am near old and I cannot climb up after you", I looked down to see the only person who knew me and loved me anyway. My tiny hands frozen to the tree I blew close hot breath in order to feel again, and slowly started down the great height, my worn red sneakers never let me down. Uncle Bill scooped me up, " your a brave one girl, an Irish child if ever one was", he placed me in Grand Mary's arms, " we take you home with us girl", I fell asleep on the ride home, I did not dream.
Then there was one:
I had worked the night shift at a San Diego hospital and heard the phone ringing, I pulled myself awake. it was my family , " OH my GOD , I have to tell you ....your husbands gone ", I stumbled to the living area falling to the ground, the phone landed a few feet away. I heard muffled cries, " Bonnielynn !!!! " and turned my head away , I knew confident I was dammed to walk the grey.
I am seven :
I entered the elevator all late business a typical DTLA morning too busy cleaning the floors of my loft before leaving, it matters, when I looked up seeing my friend Angellina, a very well known reader. After hugging her close, I said, " how is your mother, I thought of her last week ?", she smiled, " Bonnielynn she was discharged from the hospital and doing well ", I nodded my smile.
When I like you enough to trust you I will meet your gaze and show you all the love inside of me.
Angellina had helped me against the " dark man", an evil that haunted my dreams, we became close, as we seemed to melt into each other.
I asked, "what do you see in me?" , she grabbed my hands, " your so beautiful, and your grieving time is near an end, own your life now " I said yes in my smile, I admired her so much. She told me many things, and I left the elevator before her, and she turned, " and then there was one", smiling, pulling me close, " look inside and see your many Blessings ", I did not feel alone and had not for a long time fast forward from yesterday.
Bring in the Clowns:
One day a few weeks after my new living with Grand Mary she came bursting through the door of her home with her Bill right behind her, carrying a huge punching bag that had a clown ugly face. I looked at the ugly thing as I do not like clowns, Grand Mary, pulling me up, " come on girl you will show this clown all you feel inside this day", putting the clown outside the market porch with me ...plunk.
I sat staring at the ugly clown punching bag hating it's ugly sneer, I stood up and rounded the monkey face devil, thinking, " this is all my battles and hurt laughing at me ", I punched at the bag and it bounced back at me . I felt many different emotions none of which I understand to this charming day, but I started to hit that clown bag, feeling the energy build up inside, all I had lost. I punched hard my tiny hands into fist that slammed the clown, then pulling at the clown to rip it's sneer away, screaming turning into cries of a child who thought being a pirate was enough.
I fought my own rage for hours until the clown punching bag was not more than stuffing, until I was exhausted, falling asleep with bits of white puff in my hands.
I woke just a small child's window before deep sleep falls on them, as Grand Mary picked me up, her face pale with worry, " wear away the hurt my daughter, and tell me not of it", I was placed on my new, " I live with you now ", sheets, as a blanket was pulled up. I slept well into the next day, hope does not wear a color as it is clear love.
It's not new but it's a day:
Every child needs that one person who loves them true, I was so blessed as I had many who showed me how to recover through with great insight into a child pirate's heart.
I climbed up holding a huge story book for Grand Mary to read, I had just returned from Foster Care and would not speak, nor let anyone sit too close. My mother cried to Grand Mary, " I can't get through to her she won't let me touch her, nor does she speak" so Grand Mary came one fall day with the wind behind her skirts, " tell me where the Bonnie girl is", my mother pointed up to the big tree. I had climbed to the highest branches one day looking for Jesus as I was home but felt displaced, as the cold Michigan wind would nearly pull me from the branches I held tight like a good pirate. I would rest my head against the strong tree thinking the spirits of the trees would hold me strong, I pretended I was a pirate out to sea, not just any pirate I was the Captain full of Scot bossiness, and hours would slip by like the enjoyment at a Disney theme park.
A child's fear and bravery:
School for me was a daily battle as I was made fun of because my clothes were old worn, and I did not speak to anyone, I remembered the cookies in the church where I would go after school while living in Foster Care. The heart of a child hardened is not easily sorted. I held my words in as it was the only thing I could control and deny them that sought to find the best of me and tear to shreds. I would fight them but never speak a true chosen word to them.
Pack a bag :
Grand Mary stood under the great tree, " Bonnie girl come on down from the frightful height I am near old and I cannot climb up after you", I looked down to see the only person who knew me and loved me anyway. My tiny hands frozen to the tree I blew close hot breath in order to feel again, and slowly started down the great height, my worn red sneakers never let me down. Uncle Bill scooped me up, " your a brave one girl, an Irish child if ever one was", he placed me in Grand Mary's arms, " we take you home with us girl", I fell asleep on the ride home, I did not dream.
Then there was one:
I had worked the night shift at a San Diego hospital and heard the phone ringing, I pulled myself awake. it was my family , " OH my GOD , I have to tell you ....your husbands gone ", I stumbled to the living area falling to the ground, the phone landed a few feet away. I heard muffled cries, " Bonnielynn !!!! " and turned my head away , I knew confident I was dammed to walk the grey.
I am seven :
I entered the elevator all late business a typical DTLA morning too busy cleaning the floors of my loft before leaving, it matters, when I looked up seeing my friend Angellina, a very well known reader. After hugging her close, I said, " how is your mother, I thought of her last week ?", she smiled, " Bonnielynn she was discharged from the hospital and doing well ", I nodded my smile.
When I like you enough to trust you I will meet your gaze and show you all the love inside of me.
Angellina had helped me against the " dark man", an evil that haunted my dreams, we became close, as we seemed to melt into each other.
I asked, "what do you see in me?" , she grabbed my hands, " your so beautiful, and your grieving time is near an end, own your life now " I said yes in my smile, I admired her so much. She told me many things, and I left the elevator before her, and she turned, " and then there was one", smiling, pulling me close, " look inside and see your many Blessings ", I did not feel alone and had not for a long time fast forward from yesterday.
Bring in the Clowns:
One day a few weeks after my new living with Grand Mary she came bursting through the door of her home with her Bill right behind her, carrying a huge punching bag that had a clown ugly face. I looked at the ugly thing as I do not like clowns, Grand Mary, pulling me up, " come on girl you will show this clown all you feel inside this day", putting the clown outside the market porch with me ...plunk.
I sat staring at the ugly clown punching bag hating it's ugly sneer, I stood up and rounded the monkey face devil, thinking, " this is all my battles and hurt laughing at me ", I punched at the bag and it bounced back at me . I felt many different emotions none of which I understand to this charming day, but I started to hit that clown bag, feeling the energy build up inside, all I had lost. I punched hard my tiny hands into fist that slammed the clown, then pulling at the clown to rip it's sneer away, screaming turning into cries of a child who thought being a pirate was enough.
I fought my own rage for hours until the clown punching bag was not more than stuffing, until I was exhausted, falling asleep with bits of white puff in my hands.
I woke just a small child's window before deep sleep falls on them, as Grand Mary picked me up, her face pale with worry, " wear away the hurt my daughter, and tell me not of it", I was placed on my new, " I live with you now ", sheets, as a blanket was pulled up. I slept well into the next day, hope does not wear a color as it is clear love.
It's not new but it's a day:
Every child needs that one person who loves them true, I was so blessed as I had many who showed me how to recover through with great insight into a child pirate's heart.
