The Shadow knows:
He slid the credit card into my DM as easily as one might exhale, and at first I did not understand the meaning, then he wrote as if to whisper softly into my ear, " no one needs to know" , I could almost see his sly smile as he did the typical to one who took nothing from anyone.
He wrote, " I want just one night with you"
I sat back from my computer to consider what he was offering? He said, " you cannot even afford to live your life" , again I could feel the hotness of his attempt to use control over me with his money and whitewash excuses.
Thinking of my late husband I could almost hear him laugh, " Bonnielynn drops another man to his knees with her unknowing ability to make them want what she never gives away " as there were several men during our marriage who challenged my vows.
I don't want to be in love:
I spoke with my close friends and family telling them everything, and I received everything from, " that pervert", to " what a sad little man he actually is ", with my family's warning, " he is off his nut steer clear " , nodding my agreement, I refused his money and secret " no one has to know " one night promises.
Alice:
Knowing it was already morning I tried to wake knowing I had a dental appointment but sleep dragged me back down held me in a wrestle hold even I could not free myself from, I let go to let sleep carry me away into the black deep R.E.M. sleep.
I dreamed I woke up standing hands folded in front of me in the far off distance a car of richness sat idle with a person behind the steering wheel, and as if on a moving track I was pulled forward towards the car. I saw the hands of a man on the steering wheel, " feed the need for one night, I take your soul but then all you worry about will be finished", I was nude except for black velvet opera gloves that went just below my elbows, and black high heels I could never wear safely in real life.
I had a choice?
As I covered my nakedness with my gloved hands I shook my head "no", and was pulled back on the dinner cart I stood on, fast, fast, and faster I moved, and I looked up raising my arms ,to be pulled awake.
I slowly opened my eyes, and looked into my cat Sparky's blue eyes, he " meowed" his good day, as I pulled myself out of bed, I wore the long lace robe, as Sparky jumped on the long train for his daily ride into the kitchen.
I said out loud to noone , " how did I fall into this life my name is Bonnielynn not Alice" while making tea.
I start my daily prayers.
One door closes and the next:
The communication between us quickly digressed to jabs punches and a final knock out, no longer friends, no longer anything of value, he closes his secret Twitter account but I am sure he has many, I start the day with a spin class.
Somehow I think this is not over yet, round one goes to the innocent girl/woman who takes nothing from no one, owes nothing to no one , with round two far off? How did we get this connected twisted? Blame seems pointless besides he has enough money to pay guilt to go away.
Meanwhile the devil regroups humming the lyrics from " Centuries "
"Centuries"
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du...
Some legends are told
Some turn to dust or to gold
But you will remember me
Remember me for centuries
And just one mistake
Is all it will take
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
He-e-e-ey ya, oh he-e-e-ey
He-e-e-ey ya
Remember me for centuries
Mummified my teenage dreams
No, it's nothing wrong with me
The kids are all wrong
The story's all off
Heavy metal broke my heart
Come on, come on and let me in
The bruises on your thighs like my fingerprints
And this is supposed to match
The darkness that you felt
I never meant for you to fix yourself
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du...
Some legends are told
Some turn to dust or to gold
But you will remember me
Remember me for centuries
And just one mistake
Is all it will take
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
He-e-e-ey ya, oh he-e-e-ey
He-e-e-ey ya
Remember me for centuries
And I can't stop 'til the whole world knows my name
'Cause I was only born inside my dreams
Until you die for me, as long as there's a light, my shadow's over you
'Cause I, I am the opposite of amnesia
And you're a cherry blossom
You're about to bloom
You look so pretty, but you're gone so soon
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du...
Some legends are told
Some turn to dust or to gold
But you will remember me
Remember me for centuries
And just one mistake
Is all it will take
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
He-e-e-ey ya, oh he-e-e-ey
He-e-e-ey ya
Remember me for centuries
We've been here forever
And here's the frozen proof
I could scream forever
We are the poisoned youth
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du du-du, du du du-du
Du du...
Some legends are told
Some turn to dust or to gold
But you will remember me
Remember me for centuries
And just one mistake
Is all it will take
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
He-e-e-ey ya, oh he-e-e-ey
He-e-e-ey ya
Remember me for centuries
We'll go down in history
Remember me for centuries
The hands tighten on the steering wheel in a car that idles silently in the darkness that is the devil's light, he seethes and regroups his potential harms and lines his dark wishes in a row like poisoned candy
